Little Love is glorious. It’s being completely enamoured in the other person, and knowing they feel the same way about you. Love is not needing any more from the other person than what they can give in spades, such as love, trust and compassion.
However, TV programs love to glorify anything over the top, and with a kind of fascinating disgust, we revel in it. Some of these shows reflect real life; that bridezilla is soon to be someone’s wife.
These ‘reality’ shows skew true reality, however women like this do exist. They are also just as common as the hyper-masculine ‘fratbros’ that are over-represented in reality TV. They are often labelled as ‘golddiggers’, however some aren’t looking for money, they’re looking for power and control over someone.
Greediness and selfishness is a sure fire way to live a very unsatisfying life. To think you need a $12,000 ring (which, by the way, you’ll probably lose at some point) to prove your love to others is starting a cycle that is difficult to get out of. A cycle of ‘want’ instead of ‘grateful’. Of never being truly happy because you’re yearning for material things that will not actually increase satisfaction in your life.
Becoming grateful is an important factor in a relationship. It’s an important factor for day to day life too. Being able to live life relatively simply is always something to be thankful for.
Weddings are incredibly female-focused, as well. It’s not your day ladies, it’s both of your day. The groom is just as special as the bride. Just because you were tottering about in mum’s high heels when you were 2 does not mean you deserve a more special day than the man you’re marrying.
Love is not about million dollar dresses. Love is not about showing off. Love is not about wanting material things. Love is about a deep connection between two people, that they want to be together, no matter what. For richer or poorer.
If you find yourself disappointed that your loved one didn’t buy you shiny new things, they probably are not the one, and you are simply exploiting them while you can. Stop it and break it off with them, or reassess what you truly want. Try to find independence. Find out about yourself and become happy with your lot, don’t try and find another person to improve your life for you. That’s your own responsibility. Have empathy for people, how would you feel if your partner was speaking to you like that?
Love is a feeling of contentment. It is not anger or resentfulness at the other person, or wishing they were someone else, or wishing they’d make more money, or that they’d give you more presents, it’s a completeness in everyday life. Everything is enjoyable, even talking over dinner, or grocery shopping, being with them, in their presence should bring more happiness to your life. You should not be constantly searching for something within them.
Don’t expect things from people. Let your partner be completely themselves. They should feel comfortable with you too. Think about what you say and how you act. If you can’t, and you find yourself focusing too inwardly, think about whether that person is right for you. Truly right. You will always know. It’s a calm feeling within yourself.
Celebrating little love is the every day things that make life so easy with the person you love. It’s laughing over a silly joke; it’s choosing to make them dinner because you want to keep them healthy and happy; it’s going for walks together and enjoying a Sunday morning snuggle.
Wanting to change someone, getting angry that they aren’t what you thought they are, and other internalised problems are something that you, not your partner, has to work on. Try and improve yourself every day.
The ‘have it all’ mentality is fantastic if you’re talking about yourself. If you’re trying to extract that out of another person, you are actively causing harm. No one is your saviour but yourself.